So TomKat are no more, and apparently, Katie Holmes pulled several fast ones on the all-seeing, all-knowing, all-levitating Tom Cruise in what appears to be a desperate coup to escape the clutches of his Scientology-fueled grip on her. And now that she's free, we can welcome her back to society with open arms and warm understanding.
But wasn't it her biggest wish as a young lady to be married to Tom Cruise? Didn't she fantasize as an adolescent to be whisked off by the movie star and swept up in the life and love of one of the world's biggest celebrities? What happened? How could a dream come true become such a nightmare?
It happens all the time - it's probably happened to you; you wished for something and when you got it, it turned out to be the very thing you didn't need. Lottery winners experience this all the time, it's what economists Andrew J. Oswald and Rainer Winkelmann call "Winner's Remorse," when you achieve an overwhelming goal that is beyond your ability to manage it.
People fall in love all the time, and they fall out of love all the time too. But focusing on a goal for the goal's sake is usually a recipe for disaster, because falling in love with an idea or an image will undoubtedly lead to disappointment or worse.
Here are a few tips to help you stay on track with your goals and make sure you always get exactly what you want with no surprises.
1. Do your homework Falling in love with the idea of something and not fully understanding what it is that you love can be a mistake. I always wanted a '67 Mustang and when I finally got one, it leaked oil, rattled, was too slow, and guzzled gas. It was more trouble than it was worth and I got rid of it pronto. Tom Cruise is not a '67 Mustang, but once Katie got behind the wheel, she certainly wasn't into his Cruise Control option.
2. Be open to change People and things aren't perfect. If you're willing to accept the flaws of another person, and allow them and yourself to be open to tweaking yourselves a little bit to serve the relationship, you will find you're a happier person because of it. Relationships are a dance, if you can stay committed to being your best throughout the relationship, then you can handle anything that comes your way.
3. Choose powerfully True love is loving someone for who they are and who they are not. But if you find that in the process of growing you have grown apart from the person or situation and it no longer serves you, then you can just as powerfully choose to no longer be associated. Ending a relationship is not a failure, it's a successful step in choosing your life powerfully, and not putting aside your needs for your wants.
Sometimes the very things you need are the things that are already in your life, and choosing what you have powerfully now can keep you from thinking that the frog you desperately need is the handsome prince you’ve always dreamed of.
Be your best!